Liverpool FC was plunged into mourning today, as news emerged that its entire midfield has died of natural causes. The elderly quartet of Jordan Henderson, James Milner, Thiago Alcantara and Fabinho died peacefully in their sleeps.
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Jürgen Klopp said on Sunday, “The boys will be missed. “We were aware that Milly would pass away at any moment, but losing all four at once is shocking. Our thoughts and prayers are with their spouses, children, grandchildren, and, of course, great-grandchildren—some of whom, from what I understand, are now parents themselves.
We would definitely rebuild, the German assured him. This season’s midfield has resembled a scene from The Walking Dead. That much is obvious. In the future, we’ll update the side when players are nearly dead rather than when they’re completely gone. It involves eluding the Grim Reaper by one step.
“Of course, it’s emotional,” he continued. But we continue on, sign players who are still living, and bury the lads.
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